Eight

"Figure eight as double four, Figure four as half of eight." Schoolhouse Rock... well, rocks! Eight is a special number in our house at the moment. Mainly because Hays just turned 8. And let me tell you, it's been a very long celebration.

We started on Friday by letting her stay home. Saturday night, we went to her favorite pizza place. Sunday, she got to go to the circus (for the 4th year in a row), Monday, she had her name announced at school OVER THE LOUDSPEAKER!!! and Tuesday - she had an edible arrangement delivered to her class. Whew! I'm tired.

To complicate everything (but in a good way), she and her Grandaddy have the same birthday. Poor guy. If he thought he might like to open his gifts, he thought wrong. Hays couldn't understand why someone would buy her golf balls and a "clapper". We all had a good laugh at her expense.

Such a sweet girl. I'm trying not to notice how big she's is getting. I'll just have to relish in the fact that she still loves the colors pink & purple. Melt because her best friends are her brother and stuffed animals. Giggle because she still kind of slow-runs with her hands flapping beside her. I suspect she won't want me to lay down with her at bedtime for much longer -- but, I hope I'm wrong.

Hays's Dinner Party

I don't think I was ever aware that we were having a dinner party.  My first inkling came when Tom said, "Wow, that's some spread, Haysie."  So, I peer out of the teevee room and this is what I see....

If you can't tell, Hays has every one of her "friends" gathered for a FEAST of french fries and a tiny glass of water.  She has even provided a little bassinet for those who have eaten too much.  The alligator was the host/hostess and was passing the french fries to everyone with his/her little rubber hands.

A great time was had by all!  The party lasted a good hour and a half.  However, the dog kept trying to butt in on the activities, I mean, fries were involved!  But, police were not called to break up the raucous.  Thank heavens!

OMG!

Horror of horrors!! Hays has discovered the porta-potty!!!  eeeewwwwww!  Poor thing, I think she thought it was a playhouse.  Tom went to great pains to ensure that the kids couldn't get to the construction side of the house.  He put "bunny" fencing on one side of the house and a very, tall dog gate in the "alley" to block Khaki and the kids from running over there.  Unfortunately, the play set, and the porta-potty, provide a titanic amount of motivation to plow through all of the blockades.  Which Hays promptly did upon arriving home from school.

I didn't realize she was even back there until I saw her walking across the lawn with an Easter basket full of Littlest Pet Shop/Pokemon toys.  I bang on the window and yell, "no.no.no".  She looks at my direction, thinks nothing of it and walks into her new secret place.  aaaahhhhh!  I tear out of the door, ubruptly stop as I am looking down to our unfloored deck.   I then have to "run" through the support beams of the porch, looking quite similar to an NFL player running tires... only not as agile.  Finally, I reach the potty, open the door.  And there she is, sweetly lining up her little friends all along the back of the potty.  Ah, I see she has actually started at the urinal and worked her way around to the back of the potty.  nice.  

Of course, she doesn't want to leave her new found playhouse.  So, I wind up dragging her out of it, hoisting her on my hip and walking all the way around the house to avoid the "running tires" bit.  The entire time she is yelling, "Help me Daddy!" at the top of her lungs.  You know, just to alert all the neighbors that I am trying to beat her.  

Not Today

A couple of stories about my Haysie.

Number 1: After doing her morning routine, (signing in, lunchbox away, backpack in locker), Hays goes and sits in the "Leader" chair.  It's actually a little wooden throne, very cute.  Mrs. Woods says, "Hays, come to your spot on the rug so we can begin our day."  Hays stays put on the throne, "No," she says simply.  Unfazed by her unwillingness to comply, this is standard operating procedure, I'm sure.  "Hays.  Come to the carpet now."  Again, "No." Then she adds, "Not today."  Ready for a standoff, "HAYS..You need to come to your..."  "No, not today."  Mrs. Woods decides to check who the leader is for the day.  Well, well, well.  Hays is the leader for today.  Thank you very much.  And Mrs. Woods couldn't be happier about that.

Number 2: Here lately, I have been trying to let Hays walk herself into the class.  I usually walk her to the door and get a few hugs from Hays and her friends.  It's a nice way to start the day. But, I am trying to let her grow up.  So, I've been stopping farther and farther away from the door and letting her walk go on her own. 

Our sneaky way into Hays and Madden's school is to park in the back parking lot and walk through the cafeteria.  This allows me to miss most of the traffic in the front of the school.  Also, I can really push it to the limit time wise.  I've been known to screech into a parking spot at 7:55 and drag the girls into the building as the bell rings.  The other day, Hays's friend Daniella was eating breakfast and Hays says, "Walk with Daniella?!"  I, of course, ignore her because I want my goodbye hugs and this new plan may interfere with my routine.  She says, "Walk with Daniella?!" again, and dang it if the teacher didn't hear her.  "Sure, Hays.  Why don't you walk with Daniella today."  Uh, okay.  So, she waits for her friend to finish eating, grabs her hand and walks down the hall.  She looks back briefly and says, "See you later Mom."  What?!  Stunned.  I stand in the hall waiting for her to come back and say, "Maaahhh-meeeee."  She turns the corner, and is gone.  I wait, still unable to process this.  hhmm.  Well, things aren't all bad, as I look down at the little one holding my hand.  I still have my Madden to baby a little while longer.

It's Expert

Little Hays has quite the appetite.  We have been trying to get her to start eating a tad less, uh, let's say, junk.  I have always been the kind of Mom who says, "Food is just food.  There isn't any bad food or good food, it's just food."  But after seeing Hays tear through an entire bag of Cheetos in a 15 minute sitting.  I knew I had to get serious!  withholding a smile here. God love her.

We have always locked the pantry...only so I could keep track of who was eating what and when.  But now, I mean business about keeping it locked!  However, she has bat like sonar hearing for the "zzzziiiipp-click" to the lock on the pantry.  And if she doesn't hear it (because some poor soul has forgotten to re-lock it), she makes a bee line to the kitchen.  She knows she's got a tiny window of opportunity before I catch on to what has happened.

I was heartbroken because I had to stand her in front of the mirror and say, "Haysie, look at your belly.  It's Biiigg."  She laughed, "No, it's lllleeeeettteeeel."  I grab whatever is close, Jack.  "No, Jack's belly is little.  Haysie's is big."  "No, giggle, it's lllleeeeetttteeeel."  This tactic was not working.  And, it kinda made my stomach cramp, so I found a new method.  Later, like 30 minutes after the Cheetos,  she said, "It's hungry."  I say, "Oh, Hays.  I don't hear it talking.  You must not be hungry."  That seemed to work.  These days, she will say, "It's (her belly) hungry."  and I say, "It wants a banana."  She laughs and barters for a donut, but eats a banana.

The other day, Jack, Tom and Hays were laying on the couch.  Tom rubs her belly and says, "Haysie, how did belly get so big?"  She said, "It's expert."  Then.. Jack is beginner, Tom is intermediate and she is expert.  I just love her self-confidence.  I hope I never crush it, I just want her to learn about health....without all the body image craziness.

Madden's Dance Class

My sweet little Madden had her first dance class on Wednesday. I signed her up in the same class as Hays because she seemed so interested watching from the other side of the door. Well, let me just say..she's not ready. The teacher at the Y is very serious about ballet. Hays is thriving in the class. The other mom's were saying, "This teacher isn't very fun." and "I'm very disappointed..blah,blah,blah!" I had to ask them, "Has anyone ever TAKEN ballet? I mean, it's not about fun, it's discipline, precision and tough." blank stares. I'm just saying, if I wanted fun, then I would have signed up for Gymboree. I want some BALLET here.

Anyway, back to my Madden. She was under the impression she could just run back and forth the entire time. She didn't care about 1st position, 2nd position or any of that. Just give her a scarf, tutu and music..she'll take it from there. She obviously has the toe point thing down.

Don't Forget the Me!!!

A story about getting to dance class. That starts at 5 p.m. In the middle of one of the busiest parts of town.

I start talking about going to dance class around four in the afternoon. I drag out her purple leotard, black tights, black dance skirt and black ballet slippers. I show her what she is going to wear, a little nervous because the leotard has long sleeves...and Hays abhors long sleeves. She acknowledges all the goodies, briefly, then continues with her computer game.

Twenty minutes later, I announce, "It's time to get dressed for Haysie's dance class!" crickets. "Alright, Haysie gets to go dance like a ballerina." nothing other than an increase in the volume of her computer game. Okay, she's playing hardball..so I start to take her clothes off for her. After 15 minutes of pulling off her clothes, smashing her body into her tights, leotard and skirt, she finally takes her eyes off the computer long enough to tell me..."Ooohhh, so pretty!" Now she gets into full-0n dance mode (see pic). She's twirling, sliding, walking on her toes, and doing something I like to call the dishwasher. It's sort of a shimmy, in that it involves her shoulders back and forth like a shimmy. However, Hays adds her own little touch by bending forward at the waist and moving her head side to side with her shoulders. aaawwww! Since I am a photo geek, I am compelled to take pictures then out the door with 10 minutes to go before class. But no Hays. I come back inside. "Hays let's go, baby!" Dang it, I hear the computer turn back on. So, I use the old standby, "Bye-Bye, Haysie. Mama's going to dance class..see you later." I slam the door for effect. Start the car, put on the seat belt...and you could almost count 3, 2, 1. "Mama! Mama! Don't forget about the mmmeeeee!" She repeats, "Don't forget about the me!" as I see her little head bouncing up and down in front of the car. She opens up the door, climbs in, buckles up and says, "Let's go get 'em."

Thankfully, we get there a bit early. We go up the stairs and are walking to our class when we look through the window that looks over the basketball court. But today, to my horror, they have gymnastics set up on the court. I mean, since when did gymnastics involve inflatables and jumpy castles?! "Look! Gym-ba-nab-sticks"...great.

You gotta love the 80's

The other day I was in my "muscle gym" out in the garage. I look to see what song is playing on my XM radio: is it the Cure?, Erasure?--I can't place it. Squinting because I'm old, I see that it is a band I've never heard before--shocking! Smile. The band is called Haysi Fantazee. Well, you should know that I call Hays, Haysi Maysi--and now, Haysi Maysi Fantazee.

I think it fits her. It is fast becoming a hobby of mine to find all these references to my Hays. I've run into at least 8 other Hays-es. Most of them boys. And to think, I wanted to name her Camille. Well, she is no Camille--she is most definitely Haysi Maysi Fantazee.

Poor Madden, only aging sportscasters for her, no neat 80's new wave bands.

All About Hays Week

This week is All About Hays week at school. One of the things we have to do is put together a board with stuff about her on it. So, "we" organized photos of her family, favorite foods, favorite games, favorite books, and pets. "We" also made some construction paper flowers (she actually did most of these by herself) to spread throughout. On Friday, she will give her presentation of her Me Board. Tonight, we were practicing what she was going to say. I'd say, "Hays, what does this say?" She would tell me, pointing just like Vanna White. Such a little drama girl ;)

The largest flower has her full name in it. She knows her first and last name. I thought she knew her middle, but when I asked her to say what was written she said, "Hays Princess Clinard" instead of "Hays Frances Clinard".

I didn't even correct her. I smiled and thought to myself, "Hays Princess Clinard she is...perfect in every way."

Hays & Lobster--BFF always.

Oh the joys of taking Hays shopping. First, I had to bribe her with a trip to Target so she would let me cut her hair. Then, after scanning the aisles for the perfect item (Diggy Kong DS game), we went to Kroger to get a few things for dinner. We went to a Kroger I didn't know very well. Well. They have live lobsters and Hays was soo itrigued. She was blowing kisses and saying "Hi Lobster"and "He's so cute." Lobster would rear up on it's, uh, hind legs? and try to give her a "kiss". aawwww. More like, pinch her nose off.

I would say, "okay, let's tell lobster bye-bye", "it's time to go, Hays", "Bye-bye, cutie lobster", etc. She would always take about 10 steps away and run back saying, "I'm coming, I'm coming!" One guy said, "I can tell she's a handful." Yeah, whatever pal! You don't know she's my good one.

Finally, I took a picture of her with her new BFFs and she could look at it while we finished shopping. Only a few times did she get anxious and need to check on Lobster. But the picture seemed to do.

Hays Becomes Hairstylist

It was a while before I had noticed that Hays was being very quiet. Oh, I don't know, maybe I was enjoying the quiet on some level...but I went to find her, anyway.

Food closet, no. Little bathroom, no. Computer, nope. My bed with the remote watching TV, no. Wait, my bathroom door is closed...maybe she's in there. Ding, ding, ding!

I open the door to find her with our dog Khaki. A bottle of body lotion, a toothbrush?!, and running water in the sink. Khaki rushes the door, excited to be free.

I go back into the kitchen to start on lunch and notice that Khaki smells not like her usual dogginess. Sort of, berry-ish. Then, upon closer inspection, I see her "faux-hawk".

What I can gather is that Hays locked Khaki in our bathroom for a little pampering. Using body lotion and a toothbrush (eeewwww!), she styled Khaki's hair from the tip of her nose to the top of her head. It's sort of a curly, sticky, smelly streak.

I ask Hays, "Did you give Khaki a haircut?" Her response, "She's GORGEOUS!" And, well, she is.

Haysie Maysie Smartie Pants

The other day, I was speed cleaning the kitchen (like I do a hundred times a day). When Hays comes to me and says, "I want Nickelodeon dot com, please." I say, "Okay, baby..just a minute. Mommie's cleaning the kitchen." About five minutes later, I go into the TV room. I see Hays has gotten my laptop, plugged it in, and logged on. Then I see that she has put the TV on and pulled up the On Demand menu to the category that says NICKELODEON. Then she was checking her spelling in the Google search bar so she could get to the website herself...who needs Mommie!!

What an amazing child (she's 6)! I would have just misspelled Nickelodeon and not thought a thing about it. But here is my darling girl, wanting everything to be just so, trying to be big. What an angel from heaven.

That Tooth is Outta Here!

Haysie lost her first tooth this week and I'm the one who got upset. She's just getting so big. She was playing Chutes and Ladders and it just kinda fell out. She skreeched a little bit when she saw a teenie bit of blood. Then she was fine and went back to playing her game. Her big girl tooth is already starting to come in behind the old tooth! I say let all of them just fall out. No need to wrangle them out.

Easter was a big hit this year. We had egg hunts, baskets and we are still eating candy. I think the Easter bunny might need to cut back on the chocolate next year. My little gang looked pretty good for Easter. Of course, Jack is blowing a bubble in the picture! That boy. We have big plans for next week, well at least Jack does. He will be turning 9 (on the 8th) and making his First Communion (on the 13th). Lots of celebrating. I may have to go on a mini-vacation when all is said and done. Madden is the same as always, happy and loud!

Life is going along at break neck speed as we get near the end of the school year. I am personally looking forward to the beach in June.