Maggie Valley, The less said the better

This image sums up my feeling of our ski trip. Here I sit in the bowels of a deserted employee dining area, nervously gnawing on something (glasses, fingernails, hair, &c), willing Jack's snowboard class to be finished. I think I aged 5 years that day. And I haven't stopped eating since.

I will concede to being woefully unprepared for that day's events. I will concede that, perhaps, unseen forces were at work pushing me emotionally to my very limit. And I will admit, I was over my head. Gasp.

At the very least, Cataloochee Ski Area in Maggie Valley, NC is experiencing some MAJOR growing pains. In their defense, I learned: 1) it was the busiest day of the season and 2) a ski lift that carts the ski instructors/employees from their cabins to the ski area had burned to the ground that very morning (lucky me). From what I could see, if you need a job... move to Maggie Valley. They could use about 100 more employees in the ski park alone. There were 3 horrendous lines you had to maneuver to get you to the point of skiing. The first line was to buy your lift tickets (2 hour wait). Next, a separate line which precariously mixed with the lift ticket line to get your boots (45 minute wait). And finally, a third line for your ski/snowboards (30 minute wait). You can do the math, I don't like to remember.. it was horrid. All the lockers had been long rented out, even the ones newly made with plywood. There were bags, boots, clothes, food... ALL over the place. Alas, through all of this... the employees, haggard as they may have been, were.. lovely.

All eating areas in the "lodge" (probably about half the size it needs to be) and outside were cash only. Let me repeat, CASH ONLY!! With nary an ATM in sight. So, if you have only read the website and think yourself as prepared, bring cash... lots and lots of cash. But don't

count on the ability keep it safe in a locker. At some point, I was crying to the ski school director because the girls had spotted a bag of doritos and wouldn't budge until I bought them (with cash that I didn't have). Gentle, blessed soul, he bought them for us. With orange mouths and fingers, the girls abruptly dislodged themselves from their snowbanks. Amazed he said, "Wow. Doritos are magic. Maybe I should get a bag for myself!"

I was able to find Jack and watch him shred the mountain on his snowboard. He had a wonderful time and was none the wiser about the doritos debacle. The girls did have their boots on briefly, but skiing wasn't in the cards for them. Maybe next time.

I will say, Jack and I went early the next day. It was absolutely wonderful. It wasn't nearly as crowded, even as we approached the "rush" hour. We went down a green trail.. laughing and ribbing each others technique. I was amazed that my old body remembered how to ski. All was well, until Jack undercut some guy standing in the middle of the trail blabbing to his friends. The guy's feet were totally knocked out from under him and he landed right on Jack's chest. Nothing broken, but... I'm gonna leave it here. I'm spent.

I think we are really more sand & surf type people. Judging by Hays's numerous goodbyes to the mountain as we left.